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28.9.06 

SOME VIEWS ON NEW ZEALAND

For the past few weeks I have been reading forums on living in Taiwan. Many have been negative and it had me a little concerned.

Then I thought I would read some discussions on living in New Zealand. It was certainly education. Most, if not all, the comments on relocating to New Zealand are negative. When I first read them I was pissed.

How could they say these things about my country, the best place in the world?!

But after a good two hours of swallowing my national pride I began the miserable realisation that many, not all, of the comments were true.

I do love my country -nearly every person from every country does- and I am proud to be a New Zealander, but let us be honest about the state of this place.

Of course a lot of this is about attitude, but it is good to hear opinions about us.

I thought I would share some of the many comments of people who relocated to New Zealand.

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The NZ population is mostly unsophisticated from a world perspective, so if you like deep political conversations from worldly minds, forget it. If you're happy conversing about sports, the weather, and your kids, it's fine.

One odd thing I've noticed - it's not unusual for a stranger to walk up and remove an unoccupied chair from 'your' table at a restaurant or barwithout asking you first, or even a glance to acknowledge your existence. I don't see this as malicious rudeness; it's just a lack of refinement.

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Environmentally, NZ has been oversold. There are not many problems simply because there are not enough people here to mess it up, not because of an ingrained mentality in the population or forward-thinking government.

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Criminal penalties are so light as to be silly, and yet they claim the prisons are overcrowded. I have to blame bad parenting mainly for this, but better law enforcement would really help.

When I grew up in California there was a 10pm curfew for anyone under 16, and if you were caught they would either take you home or call your parents. Here those teenagers are running around all night in small gangs. Drinking starts legally at 18, driving at 15-16.

Funny thing is cops here act like angry parents instead of professional law enforcement. They often will let light offenders off, not realizing that it really just teaches kids that cops are soft. I've never seen cops disrespected anywhere as much as they are here, and it's been like that for decades.

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NZer's have always been ones *not* to complain about bad service. As a result customer service is variable, but much improved from decades ago.

Again it's not intentional as much as it is cultural. Good, reliable tradesmen such as plumbers are hard to find. I've had to cross off many in the yellow pages as they don't return my calls, or a promised quote.

The idea of bartering or negotiation is not too common - people just have work done without a quote and pay without question whatever is charged. Vendors and services may be bewildered when you ask for a quote or wish to compare prices, but it's definitely worth doing.

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Racism is still somewhat visible here and it saddens me. More against visitors, particularly Asians, than the indigenous population.
In comparison it's clear how far California has progressed in that regard, I really do think it leads the world in social progress. It's more apparent in teenager boys trying to impress their friends than in the adult population.

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Crime is an issue – noisy cars, kids racing, and theft from cars were very evident and we also witnessed an exchange of drugs on our first morning in Christchurch and whilst we were there a backpacker was murdered in the North Island. We know this happens in the UK, but had perhaps an idealised view of NZ.

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Kiwis are very proud of their country and for them it is the centre of the universe. We found their lack of knowledge / understanding of the rest of the world surprising, particularly the focus on the national tv news which was significantly skewed towards events in NZ, particularly sport.
Sport is all – if you are a good team player, you will fit in fine. If you prefer slightly more intelligent pursuits you may have to look harder for like-minded people.

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In the Bay of Plenty region 8 out of every 10 British families who attempt to settle here return to the UK within 18 months.

Whilst some may return due to missing their extended families the majority go home because they are not prepared to put up with, what has been described to me, as the day to day drudgery of living in NZ.

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Thinking about moving to New Zealand eh. Well you can carry out a trial run without even leaving the UK.

1. Build a large shed, with no foundations or heating and move your family into it whilst you are building it.

2. Give up what ever job you are doing and find one that requires you to work 6 days per week, 10 hours per day and pays a third of your current wages.

3. Find the worst school in the UK and immediately ship your kids off to it.

4. When you do your Tesco's, Sainsbury or Asda shop pick only the items which have reached or past their sell by date. When you pay for these items insist on paying 3 times the indicated price.

5. When you drive wear a blindfold with a couple of tiny slits in it so that you can just about see. Then drive as fast as you can whilst texting on your mobile phone.

6. Every morning, when you first wake up in your big shed, get a garden hose and hose the interior walls down for 2 minutes. This will then replicate the amount of condesation and damp found in the average NZ home.

7. Make sure that you send your kids out in really bad weather wearing only a pair of shorts, a t shirt and NO shoes or socks. If they complain beat them black and blue and tell them to "Toughen up!"

8. Only buy the most expensive but worst made items that you can find, especially when buying shoes, white goods, clothes etc etc. When they breakdown or fall apart after 3 or 4 weeks don't take them back to complain, just put it down to experience. Then go out and buy exactly the same item again!

9. Every now and then chuck a large wad of money onto a fire (you may have installed a wood burner in your shed by now) just to represent "unseen charges" i.e. using your bank Eftpos card (Switch card), changing your address on card documents or driving licence, electricity price increase for winter months etc etc.

10. By now your family should be suffering with various chest complaints (from living in the damp shed) and suffering from mild to moderate depression. Take a visit to your doctor, pay $50 for each family member to see the doctor, then pay for your medication ($25 - $75 each).

11. Draw £50,000 (fifty thousand) cash out. Take it outside your shed (if the shed catches fire a 29 year old fire truck will roll up 45 minutes after you call it, manned by Volunteers) then catch fire to it. While you watch your £50,000 burn say to yourself "Well at least we did it" or "It was a life experience"

12. Learn the expression "She'll be right mate". This expression is used for every bodge or problem that a New Zealander experiences.

13. Spend a weeks wages on installing Sky in your shed. Only subscribe to the sports channels. Never watch the news, only watch SPORT 24/7.

You will then have experienced the roller coaster ride of living in New Zealand!

I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. Thanks!

hey Chris, came across your blog thru Franks (just in case ur wondering :) ). have to say tho that while i understand the points these people make about NZ life (most of which are sadly true ie the housing & crime thing) they were totally wrong about this one!! Kiwis are very proud of their country and for them it is the centre of the universe. We found their lack of knowledge / understanding of the rest of the world surprising, particularly the focus on the national tv news which was significantly skewed towards events in NZ, particularly sport.
Sport is all – if you are a good team player, you will fit in fine. If you prefer slightly more intelligent pursuits you may have to look harder for like-minded people.

I believe in general us Kiwis have an open-minded view and a good general knowledge of the world!

Hi Silla, I think there are sharp people and stupid people in every country and for someone to put a blanked statement about kiwis reflects more on thecommentor anything else.

I think the comment also relects the writers lack of understanding of New Zealand culture. A lot of kiwis know what is going on in the world and have an well thought out opinion, but we tend to keep them to ourselves until we have a decent relationship with the person. This differs from a few cultures that are ready to preach their opinion before they even know our name.


Thanks for your thoughts.
-Chris

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